I should be sleeping.
It just hit me that I'm leaving soon.
Two weeks left in Tübingen.
I don't want to go.

I'm not sure why, exactly.
I've grown a lot here.
I've done things I wouldn't normally do.
I've met a lot of people from all walks of life and corners of the world.
I want to keep on doing this.

I've fallen in love with Germany.
I've fallen in love with the language. It's exhausting and difficult and mentally draining and impossible.
But it's beautiful and so are the people.
I love speaking it.
I love getting compliments and people mistaking me for being German (aside from my professors who I turn into a 2 year old child around)

I'm european at heart. I want to travel the world, but I want to call europe home.

At home I feel stuck.
I feel like a caged bird with clipped wings.
I don't like it.
I like being able to catch a train for 13 Euros to France.
I like being able to visit an aunt in Austria.
I like being able to go to Switzerland for 4 Euros.
I like being able to visit family I haven't seen since I was a little kid.
I like seeing everyone reading the newspaper.
I like seeing a newspaper that's not cluttered with useless information.
I like having intelligent discussions about politics and religion.
I like meeting people from England and Ireland and Scottland and Iceland and Hungary and Bulgaria and Russia and Slovakia, Australia, Brazil, Portugal, Spain, Canada.

I love seeing Americans with changed perspectives.

I like a country that cares about the environment.
I like a country that cares about its citizens.
I like a country that makes you feel safe, even as an outsider.

I've never felt this safe in the states.
I don't want to go home.
There are novelties that I miss, and friends and family. And it'll be nice to see them.
I'm just not ready to be stuck again. It can't be like it was before. Things have to keep moving. Life has to keep going. I have to keep enjoying myself. It's too short to be stuck.

Une chanson qui s’écrit
Pour raconter les folies
Que fredonnent les rimes
De poèmes griffonnés
Par les mains d’un musicien
Qui mélange les accords
Et forme des mélodies

Une chanson, pour tout dire
Une chanson, pour t’écrire
Une chanson pour moi
Une chanson pour toi
Pour t’écrire

On en trouve qui sont douces
Qui sillonnent les amours
Elles errent dans les coulisses
Et puis y’en a qui osent dire
Sans gêne à voix haute
Les passions du printemps
Sous les draps
Tandis que d’autres soulagent
Inondent les visages
Fracassent sur des airs colériques

Une chanson pour moi
Une chanson pour toi
Pour t’écrire

Elle ne fait pas que chanter
Quelques-unes aiment parler
Mais celle que je t’écris
J’ai peine à l’achever
Les mots sont égarés
Ils traînent dans ma tête
Et je n’ai pas l’air pour danser

Une chanson, pour tout dire
Une chanson, pour t’écrire
Une chanson pour moi
Une chanson pour toi
Pour t’écrire

birthdays are weird.

this band has become a recent favorite.

I'm going to miss these people insanely. I decided to stay in tonight and ended up with a bunch of drunken calls requesting my presence.



(this past weekend Agnes and I went to the Ract! festival, which was a bit pathetic but endearing at the same time. the Southside Festival is this weekend and I wish I had the money to go, it sounds amazing.)

I just made out with a 27 year old for over 3 hours. excuse me while I go kill myself. I had SUCH a hard time getting rid of him and convincing him I wasn't going home with him. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh brb jumping off a bridge.

wanting to talk to someone when there's no one around? awful feeling.

so gooooooooooood.

I never want to leave.



I don't know why, but I love this picture. Tony, Tom, Erin and I went to France for a couple of days, to Strasbourg. We had a lovely time. Got kicked off a train and ended up in (Rhein)...it's nowhere on any map or on the DB website as a train stop. Tom was really angry while the rest of us laughed our asses off at our unfortunate circumstance. We're pretty sure it was a little south of Hell. Tiniest town without a real Bahnhof and no one around. We were so lost. My camera went funky and none of the pictures were coming out. It was so weird. The place name was really in parenthesis. But we still made it to France by some miracle. I felt like an incompetent child not knowing the language, thank God we had Tom with us. We just called him Tour-guide Tom the entire trip. He spent a semester in Brussels and is even more fluent in French, he was our lifesaver this trip and it would not have happened without him. I've made friends on accident. I really didn't want to make a close group of friends but it happened anyway and now I'm dreading the day we all have to say goodbye to each other. Ahhhh. Going to miss the Brits so much! Tony and Erin go to uni in Denver, and Erin's dad lives in Arizona so there's still a chance of seeing them when I get back. As for everyone else, I don't even want to think about it! boah!